Houston Sports Rapp

Have you ever went to a town and thought “Man, I better wear a fake mustache and sunglasses cause I might get served.” I’m not talking about served like Breakin 2 Electric Boogaloo served.  I’m talking Houston super attorney Rusty Hardin (you know the dude that represented Roger Clemens?).Well Hardin is suing Denver Nuggets star J.R. Smith for nonpayment of legal fees with a process server expected to serve Smith at tonight’s game. God I hope it happens on the bench. Or even better, on the court!

As reported by the Chronsports.com: Don’t want to get served myself.

Ruling has come down today on the near future of Washington Bullets Wizards stars Gilbert Arenas and Javaris Crittenton by NBA Commish David Stern. Well, kinda. The fellas will be suspended for the rest of this season. Okay so multiply that by 37 more games….. carry the 2……. That’s a lot of freaking money left on the table playa. So lesson to be learned here: If you carry yourselves as dumb-asses, you’ll be treated like dumb-asses. And I’m a big Arenas fan at that. Damn dude. Crittenton… not so much. Does he even play?

As reported By ESPN.com

As reported by The Telegraph.co.uk

Elin Nordegren had been ready to separate from the world’s richest sportsman after reports he had affairs with 19 different women. But the former Swedish swimwear model is now said to have changed her mind after spending five days with him at a sex addiction rehabilitation centre.The 30-year-old is believed to be pleased about the efforts that Woods has made to save their marriage. Radaronline, the US celebrity website, claimed a source said: “She was happy when she came home. Things went well.” Woods is receiving therapy at the Pine Grove clinic in Hattiesburg, Mississippi. Miss Nordegren is reported to have attended counselling sessions with him before flying back to their Florida home by private jet. The clinic reportedly requires patients to undergo couples’ therapy including a “disclosure day” where partners admit all their affairs.

So I’m sitting in this hip Dallas (yes I said Dallas) 24 hour diner in the corner booth with a sliver of a wifi bar loving my hometown that much more.. figured I would take this opportunity to invite everybody down to Freebirds World Burrito  Shepherd Plaza for the usual cast of characters and hi-jinks this THURSDAY, and as an added bonus if u call now you will get LIVE MUSIC before the show. Yes folks for only free .99 you get to hear the sounds of San Marcos’ own When The Light Turns Red!

And I thought only Tonya Harding had crazy crap going on in the Olympic Skating world.

E! online reports:

Authorities in Massachusetts have arrested Mark Kerrigan, the 45-year-old brother of former Olympic figure skater Nancy Kerrigan, in the death of their father, Daniel Kerrigan. According to the Stoneham police, Mark Kerrigan was booked and charged with assault and battery on an elder person resulting in serious bodily injury.

The case has now been referred to the Middlesex County district attorney, who is continuing the investigation into Daniel’s sudden death early Monday.

SI.com reports:

UFC heavyweight champion Brock Lesnar (super hot wife) ended speculation over his health on Wednesday, telling ESPN’s SportsCenter that there are no signs of the illness that sidelined him since November.

Calling his quick recovery from diverticulosis, a painful condition that develops when pouches form in the wall of the colon, a “miracle,” Lesnar said doctors were “dumbfounded” after a recent checkup showed the recovery from a rupture in his stomach.

“There is literally no sign of anything even existing in there,” Lesnar said. “I believe in the mind is a powerful thing. Everyday I was put in a position and had to view my life and world in a different way.”

After last night’s AFC/NFC championship games the two best teams (by best I mean, No. 1 seeds) got themselves a spot into the Superbowl. No real surprise here that the Colts handled business versus the Jets, but the what would be considered an upset in some circles the Saints did stop the Vikings roll in overtime. And we actually got to see a kicker do something positive in a playoff game!

Houston Texans quarterback Matt Shaub’s hat has now been thrown into the 2010 NFL Pro Bowl party.

As an injury replacement or not for Tom Brady, Shaub recieves his first Pro Bowl. Schaub’s career-best 4,770 yards this season led the NFL, and the Texans finished 9-7, the first winning season in franchise history. So he should have been a likely replacement for Brady in the AFC.

Also joined by  Houston teammates wide receiver Andre Johnson, defensive end Mario Williams and linebackers DeMeco Ryans and Brian Cushing (defensive rookie of the year) on the AFC squad. Awww, yea.

I’ve found the secret. In these days and times, the worst thing you can call a white dude is a racist.

What is the big damn deal with the “slip” Mike Greenberg made yesterday anyway? I can honestly see both sides of the coin on why some were offended but dang. The dude freaking slipped. Its not like it hasn’t happened before with others. Remember former mayor of Selma, Ala., Joseph Smitherman? Of course you don’t. Check it. Now that dude sounded like some good ol’ racism right there. But again I believe it was an honest mistake. (By the way, I’m a black dude)

Get it? Served? Cause its a tennis thing… Oh nevermind.

Just wanted to bring to your attention the fail that was this outfit worn by my “future ex-baby momma” Maria Sharapova while getting served (get it?) on day one at the Australian Open even before her upset loss to Maria Kirilenko. So soon after inking a brand spanking new 70 million dollar extension with Nike, baby-momma broke out this fine number  for her first (and only) match at the first Grand Slam of 2010.

Oh just turn the knife why don’t ya Kirilenko: